Intimacy: everyone wants it, but not everyone knows how to get it. It’s not as easy as a few extra hugs and kisses here and there; sometimes it requires a much bigger commitment, and for both partners to work at it. Intimacy means a sense of closeness that you feel with your partner, even though you are two separate beings. But once the initial exciting stages of a new relationship wear off intimacy changes and is different for every couple. There are ways that you can find intimacy in your relationship once more, without going on a fancy trip and spending a lot of money. Try some of these of these now, to kick-start your relationship.
- Remember the past
Come up with a list of five times that you felt very close to your partner, and have them do the same. Don’t overthink it, and let the memories surface. Then write down all the things you thought and felt about that time. Look at what it made it special for you, and identify those emotions for you both to do in the future. This can help you both say what you need in a relationship out loud, as some partners can assume that the other person knows, when they don’t. It can also help pinpoint some of the reasons why you don’t feel as close now as you did in the past.
- Do something special
A great exercise to do together is something your partner loves, but that you aren’t as interested in, so you can learn more about them. If your partner loves cars, go to a car show with him, and let him show you what he’s most interested in. It can be fun to see your partner get passionate about something, and help you reconnect. Talk to each other about the experience afterwards, and let him know that you enjoyed seeing his passion.
- Be open and honest
While social media promotes being completely open with all of your friends online, try saving something from your day, and telling only your partner all about it. It doesn’t have to be a big secret, but it will designate your partner as the special person who hears all of your thoughts and feelings from the day, whether good or bad.
- Express interests without looking for common ground
Couples may find it threatening if they’re too different from each other. They may think that these opposing interests will drive them apart. But it really is okay to have differing opinions and interests. It can help you both grow up and see a different side of your partner, as a whole person on their own.
- Remember why you like your partner
Think about the things that attracted you to your partner when you first met. Remember how it felt when you first fell in love, and try to recreate it. Keep your partner in mind in a positive way.
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